Matters that were raised and discussed.....intimacy challenges and symptoms to watch out for?
Share your thoughts....
Marital bed Crisis....SS2
The following is to be considered as the early warning signals....symptoms of a sexual life going sour and about to hit the rocks....they are indications that a check up maybe needed in your sexuality....any of the following should be considered to address the matter;
(1)a crucial conversation is needed for the couple in question.
(2)..a counseling session may also be appropriate with a sex expert or marriage counsellor.
(3) a retreat exclusively for both..
(4).a romantic get away should urgently be put together.
..to ignore these symptoms is to take your spouse for granted ...Consequently....the likelihood of infidelity stepping in and eroding the very foundation of the marriage is almost inevitable if the matters are not addressed....promptly....
Can we agree again .....on the purpose for Sex in marriage...
1. Pleasure
2. Procreation
3. Companionship/bonding
4. Any other....
How important is sexual fulfillment to you in marriage? Answer it personally?
What to you is the definition of sexual fulfillment......?
Let's look at the sexual act itself........?
Foreplay.....appetizer
Genital intercourse.....main dish
Climax.......desert....
Which part to you as a man or woman is the least important and why?
What are the things you consider as inappropriate , against the purpose of sexual fulfillment in marriage....sinful....not to even be discussed amongst christian couples
in the privacy of your bedroom?
Do you agree that sexual activity and fulfillment should naturally be on the decline as couples age and begin to settle down for parenting responsibilities?
Turn on and turn offs that affect intimacy in marriage
For engaged couples....
What are the turn on n off that affect emotional intimacy.....
Then how do u know what turns you on or off that you spouse should be aware of and take clear off to avoid sexual temptation while you are still courting...
Finally....you may need a check up sexually if......
1. Your libido is on the decline from your first year in marriage
2. Sexual activity is practically reducing to once or twice every month.
3. You are never looking forward to being intimate with your spouse.
4. Sexual fulfillment to you is about bearing children.
5. You can not discuss freely with your spouse your expectations (sexual fantasies inclusive etc) on the bed.
6. You expect that your spouse must Always be ready to serve you sexually every time you demand for it.
7. You are not adventurous in bed and you insist on adhering to a particular sex positioning eg missionary even when you know that your spouse wants a change.
8. You are always discretely hiding to undress..and dress up even when it is only the two of you that is in the room.
9. You are not comfortable with your naked body in front of your partner..except during sex(which must be done light out) ..you are not comfortable naked with your spouse for up to an hour....it feels odd to you to sleep all nite naked with ur spouse...you can't imagine it happening.
10. You insist that the children must sleep with you so as to inhibit intimacies tendencies....you are comfortable with your baby seeing Inbetween the two of you...and don't see anything wrong with it even after your spouse had raised objection.
11. You spend more time and attention on looking good for the public and less time and attention on looking good with ur intimate wears...because you think your spouse don't mind or has seen you all...
12. You hardly or have never initiated sex...it is always your partner that does it.
13. You don't think it is important for both parties to be satisfied in bed...as long as you are satisfied ...it is ok.
14. All you want is a quickie....
15. You think of your ex or another person while you are making love to you spouse.
16. You are suggesting perverted sexual behaviors like...threesome....sex on camera ....watching of pornography always before sex....sex in indecent places....sex with pain as pleasure while the other partner has to inflict physical pain for pleasure etc....ideas obviously borrowed from Hollywood..
18. You want to have sex everyday.
19. You have never invested into making your sexual life better...eg reading and researching through informative materials and sharing with your hubby...or planning a pleasant surprise to show that you expecting a great night of intimacy with your spouse.
20. You sleep off during sex most of the time and sees nothing wrong with it.
21. You act like a log of wood during sex...no communication...no pleasurable response....just like a robot......etc
22. Sex is never spontaneous ...it always has to be planned...and as it is ....the other partner is complaining of boredom ..but you are not bothered.
23. The only place you want to have sex is on the bed....after 5yrs...you are still on the bed....
24. Sex is a weapon of punishment or reward in your hands
25. There are parts of your body that are no go areas for your spouse....it can only be accessed when you give the go ahead.
26. You always have to be wined and encouraged before you touch your spouse body...and you do it with such disconnection...that it appears mechanical... the bottom line you don't enjoy or derive any fulfillment in it.
27. Sex is assigned the remnant of your energy....and must always be done in the night.
28. You have never planned in your life ...from the morning you wake up..that today I am going to have a great time with my spouse ....and put that thought in your mind throughout the day...making adequate actions that will ensure it works out.
29. You are always complaining and critical of every action your spouse is making while initiating intimacy while you would not even lift a finger to stimulate anything.
30. You are increasing spend more time , energy, finance on your children, dressing ,your job, ministry church activities or business and leaves the residue of yout time and energy if any at all, for your spouse...in the name that he/she would understand .
31. You want to embark on 100 says fast without sex and without approval from your spouse.
32. You think you are doing your spouse a Favour by allowing sexual intimacy..and you mark register for each other....eg once every week....or once every two weeks or only on friday nights...etc
33. You see your spouse and treat only as a sexual object for the satisfaction of your carnal desires.
34. Sex is always painful for you.
35. You have never experienced orgasm.
36. You are a one minute ...thank u ma'am guy....ie suffer from premature ejaculation.....or any other form of sexual dysfunction.
37. Sexual fulfillment is as dictated by you....not by the receiver. You do not take seriously sexual performance feed backs....as long as there is genital sex and there is climax....the work is done....
38. The only reason your spouse isn't cheating on you is because of his/her fear of God and allegiance to him. It is likely you are exploiting that grace unconsciously.
39. Sex with your spouse is still dirty in your mind even after marriage.
40. Your spouse appearance turns you off and generally irritates you, and you merely tolerate his each other bodily.
41. You find it absurd to shower and play together with your spouse in the bathroom ...and you are always looking for every legitimate excuse to avoid it. If in any year of living together as man and wife...you can't remember when you had an intimate shower with your spouse...you also may need a check up...? Are u guyz ok.?
42. You don't see any reason to dress up seductively for ur spouse to bed....you dress shabbily to bed and the way it suits you only.... But you would gladly 'baff up' for public appearances...your mindset is...'my spouse should understand...'
42. The only time you allow your spouse to kiss you is when you in the mood for lovemaking....any other time is embarrassing to you.
And MANY MORE.....
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